This page is dedicated to all those people out there who have run out of terms to tease the people around them. It is inspired by a Latin grad student I met who helped me realize that almost ANYTHING said in Latin sounds massively intellectual. (Splendidus!)

Thus, instead of calling your pal the usual 'nincompoop' or 'twit', why now try using latin plant names??

YES! Confusing enough such that even simple, down to earth words like 'chair' sound regal in latin ("sessibulum").

So, here is "the" list:

'Carota' : Carrot (Or, "Daucus carota" if you think they're one heck of a 'Wild Carrot'

"Orobanche maritima": Carrot Broomrape (Oh, what I've been missing out on all my life..!)

"Melittis melissophyllum": Bastard Balm (note: make a webpage – learn SO MANY new things!!!..)

"Mertensia maritime": Oysterplant

"Oleracea": Cabbage

"Bunias orientalis": "Warty Cabbage"

"Brassica Rapa" : Wild Turnip

"Pyrenaicum" : Asparagus

"Allium vineale": Wild Onion

okay. This is getting pretty boring, so, I've decided to just go all out and give you plants/animals in as many languages as I can think of....but not too many because I'm also pretty lazy, and it's not like you're paying me or anything!

Of course, I've neglected to include my own native language (Malay) in this collection. Sorry, but I need my own little private set of words. I WILL however let you know if you send me some money.

Otherwise, here is the "life-changing" list:

Goat
Swahili: Mbuzi

Latin: Hircinus (goatlike)
French: chevre

Japanese: yagi

Norwegian: geit

And here is a random picture of a cow:

Monkey

Swahili: Tumbili

Latin: Simius
French: singe

Japanese: yamazaru, seiyuuuki

Norwegian: monkay' (okay, this one's made up – I couldn't find it. BUT, if you're Norwegian and know the answer to this, PLEASE email me!)

Chicken

Swahili: Kuku

Latin: Pullus
French: poulet

Japanese: chikin

Norwegian: kylling

Potato

Swahili: Kiazi

Latin: potatolus (okay, this one's made up a well. Potato is basically "Potato" in latin. At least that's what my online English latin dictionary claims!)
French: pomme-de-terre

Japanese: poteto, jagaimo

Norwegian: potet

Onion:

Swahili: Kitunguu

Latin: caepe
French: oignon

Japanese: tamanegi, kyuukei

Norwegian: lok

So there you have it. I would strongly suggest you print out this page and keep it with you at all times so that when the opportunity arises, you don't end up having to just make do with normal words. Impress the people around you by your ability to go :Why, you dang yamazaru! You truly are a mbuzi fit to be chopped up and cooked in a nice little pomme-de-terre with pullus and lok stew!" instead of relying on the usual "idiot!" Impress your family and friends! Use it on dates! Heck. Use it to get that job you've been vying for all these years!

This list is the first step towards the new you – the one that's intellectual and sophisticated!!

Send me some money and I'll email you all the words above in one easy to access, nicely formatted, vertically and horizontally aligned, oh so sexy, table.

Send me money. Send me money. Send me money. Send me money!!!!

And on a side note:

"There are no stupid questions. Only stupid answers" – Mr Garrison, South Park